Creative Writing

The Writing Machine

I remember that feeling of release and relief when it was all out on the page. That feeling of freedom after doing a good day's work. The black ink smudged along the length of my left pinky finger a testament to my efforts like a badge of honor.

Bullshit Reviews, humor, video

Bulls*!t Review: My Struggle by Karl Ove Knausgaard

This is Karl Ove Knausgaard, a six-foot-four Norwegian with an eeyore complex and...The first book alone is 12,000 hours of mental masturbation, in front of a mirror. But who wouldn't want to watch this repressed Viking masturbate? To watch the video click here...


Torture Devices Of The Middle Aged

The next birthday party I throw for myself will have a theme of The Middle Ages, as it is nearly as pleasurable being middle aged as I imagine it would be to try and avoid the plague and carry a nosegay to inhibit the odeurs. It stinks. It hit me in a panic that I… Continue reading Torture Devices Of The Middle Aged

Creative Writing

Dear Cig, I’m Breaking Up With You

I'm breaking up with you. I can't take this madness anymore, of needing you so deeply. I can't bear to be without you. It's like there's a monster inside of me that won't be satiated no matter how often we're together. I can't go on like this.